A much debated issue: The top pizza moments in cinema history. Seeing how Castro and I have a far superior taste in movies than most others, we’ve decided to share with you our personal favorite scenes involving pizza. (I should also mention that I’m currently eating a pepperoni tomato pie from Pizza City while compiling this list.)
We’re about to discuss a topic, which has been argued by great men for decades. It’s a topic so great, it needed 2 awesome dudes to compile. It’s a topic that’s up there with “top wrestling finishing moves” or “top douche bag villains from a movie.” It’s a tough decision to be made, like picking your favorite child…but someone’s gotta do it. Make sure you let me know what I forgot to mention so I can tell you how much of an idiot you are for disagreeing with me. Without further adieu…the list.
5. Along came polly: The scene where Philip Seymour Hoffman is dressing his slice up with crushed reds and squeezing the grease from Ben Stiller’s slice onto it. A true hero.
4. Coneheads: Pre-radiated, leftover starch discs. WARNING, do not sear the top of your neck hole on the molten lactate extract. Microwaved cheese pizza topped with fresh pencil shavings. Beldar is a boss.
3. TMNT 2 “Secret of the ooze”: When Mikey tells Raph to go long and throws a plain slice across the room only to be stabbed and caught by his sais. The turtles are known for their pizza eating abilities. I like to consider myself on their level, but deep down inside I know I still have a lot of work to do.
2: Back to the future 2: Hydrate level 4 please. Half green pepper, half cheese. I long for the day you can insert a frozen 5″ pie into a black and decker hydrate oven and 4 seconds later end up with an 18″ beauty. If that scene doesn’t make you want pizza, we probably shouldn’t be friends anymore.
1. Home alone: Did anyone order me a plain cheese? The fact that they order 10 pizzas costing $122.50 is reason enough to want to chill with the McCallisters. Even though buzz eats the last slice of cheese, I’d still destroy the sausage…and olives…and onions. LOOK WHAT YOU DID YOU LITTLE JERK! Little Nero’s hands down has the most delicious pizza in cinema history (and the quickest delivery driver.)
5. Loverboy: Granted, there’s no particular scene in this movie where they eat awesome pizza. However, being a male gigolo/pizza delivery guy must be a pretty sweet gig. “We have plenty of anchovies!”
4. The Goonies: Who could forget the whole gang hiding underneath the floorboards while those “sick freaks” the Frantelli’s argued over pepperoni pizza?! “You want your pepperoni?! Here!” Never has a slice of pizza to the face looked so violent/hilarious while almost leading to a shootout.
3. Spaceballs: Ugh, Pizza The Hut? Need I say more? “Or else Pizza is gonna send out for you!”
2. Fast Times at Ridgemont High: My brother was a pizza delivery guy when I was in eighth grade, and I had planned on having him deliver a pizza to my classroom until he ended up quitting. Even though I’m done with school now, I might show up on orientation day at Temple just to have someone deliver me a pizza while in class. After all, isn’t it our time??
1. Saturday Night Fever: Travolta in his prime, before he got all fat and became a Scientologist. The scene really doesn’t exactly showcase the pizza, but the combination of the Bee Gees and strutting while eating two slices of pizza at once has never looked so cool. Needless to say I plan on recreating that scene in the near future and posting it to YouTube.