Santucci’s Square Pizza
4010 Cottman Ave.
A long time ago on a porch far, far away…
Look, I’m fairly certain most of you have tasted Santucci’s at some point in your life. You don’t need us to tell you they probably make best square pie around town. I wanted to review their pizza because it’s one of my favorite delivery pizzas of all time. Granted, the delivery time sometimes is a little longer than the norm, but I’ve eaten it so many times that I’ve learned to appreciate the wait and the quality pie that arrives at my door. The crust is always cooked to perfection. Super crunchy, never flaky and charred around the edges. Let us not forget the sweet and tangy red sauce that will undoubtedly leave its mark on your chin and make you ask “do I have any sauce on my face?” Yeah you do, you idiot. People will tell you the Juniata Tucci’s is the best, others maintain the South Philly location takes the cake. Truth is, it’s all gonna be fantastic because it’s all Joey Santucci’s famous recipe that dates back to the late 50’s. Oh, and there also may or may not be a $2 off coupon on their website you can print out. Shhhhh, keep that on the hush. Loose lips sink ships. And by ships, I mean $2 off coupons.
So we decided we were gonna watch horror movies outside my house, crush some brews, carve a pumpkin and order a few pies as part of a Halloween special…all while a romantic fire pit crackled in background. Sounds awesome right? Well it totally was. We even set aside a few weapons just in case the impending zombie apocalypse was to occur while doing this review. Just as scary German guy was about to offer more pie in the monster squad, our sexy pizzas arrived in a early 90’s hatchback. 1 half sausage, half pepperoni and 1 half meatball, half mushroom. $27. A little on the pricey side, but definitely worth it in my eyes. You’re guaranteed a delicious meal that’s worth every penny, each and every time with toochies.
The Meatball: Bangin. Thin slices of full flavored, savory meatballs blanketed the entire slice. Not like Wawa or subway meatballs either. Huge beastly, bulging meatballs. I’ve always been a total sucker for a good meatball pizza and this is absolutely one of them.
Schroom: It was a solid choice, but I think if you’re ballsy enough to get mushrooms on a pizza you should pair it with something. Like meat…or babies. I foresee a mush n’ bacon pie in my near future.
Pep: Never had pepperoni before tonight from Santucci’s. It was alright. Nothing spectacular. I like my pepperoni crispy, and blackened on the edges. I did appreciate how each slice was evenly distributed with 6 large pieces. It’s not one I’d be truly stoked to get again.
Sausage: Hands down, the main attraction of the evening. Rather generous lumps of spicy sausage graced the upper level of this pie. This is the only pizza I order when I hit up Santucci’s. It should be their signature pie. I’ll put money down that you’ll fight your favorite child over the last corner slice of this studly beefcake of a pizza.
If you’ve been to Santucci’s before, keep up the good work. If you haven’t, I feel sorry for what you’ve been missing out on. If you’re by chance there now, I’m extremely jealous and wish nothing but bad things on you because I’m starving. Make your next Walking Dead/Dexter night a Santucci’s night and I promise you’ll start your workweek out just a little bit happier.
It seems as if the majority of my reviews begin with a fond, reminiscent story about that particular restaurant. And this review is no different. I owe my once prepubescent, robust physique to Santucci’s pepperoni pizza and Dr. Pepper. During those days, my life consisted of nothing else other than Santucci’s pizza and hockey. (It’s funny how my priorities have stayed relatively the same since I’ve been 11.) Nothing could beat watching a Flyers afternoon game on a Sunday while eating a personal pepperoni pizza. In fact, that statement still holds true today.
I’ve loved Santucci’s for more than 15 years now, but there are certain ways you need to enjoy it. Firstly, it can’t be eaten straight from the oven. The sauce needs enough time to congeal before it can be consumed. Secondly, it’s imperative to not let the sauce congeal for too long. Since the sauce is atop the cheese, it will undoubtedly become cold if left out for too long. The precise moment when the sauce congeals, before it becomes too cold, is when it must be consumed. And thirdly, it must be consumed next to a fire pit while drinking beer, watching Monster Squad, carving a pumpkin, and playing with a shotgun. If you happen to not have any of those items, I SUPPOSE you could still give it a try.
The sausage and pepperoni from Santucci’s has always been top notch, and I personally think the combination of their tangy sauce and sweet pepperoni is possibly the best in Philadelphia. Along with those, we ordered up another half meatball/half mushroom. Although I don’t usually order mushroom on my pizza, this occasion was def worth mentioning. Whereas most mushrooms I’ve eaten have had a rubbery texture and have been flavorless, you could really taste the flavor with this one. However, next time I order, I believe I’ll be complimenting the mushroom with the sausage. The combination of both could be something phenomenal. My favorite pie of the night would def have to go to the meatball though. Instead of using prepackaged miniature meatballs like most places, Santucci’s uses actual slices of whole, homemade meatballs. Each slice was about the size of pepperoni, and exploding with Italian spices. If you’re ordering from there soon, go with the meatball.
We lost interest in carving the pumpkin, the fire pit dwindled down, and the pizza had been consumed. It was now time to relax and continue enjoying Monster Squad with a couple of Blue Moons. In hindsight, I only wish we had ordered a pie with garlic on it so I could’ve recreated the scene where Sean smashed it on Dracula’s face. I guess I could’ve done it with any of the other slices, but it just wouldn’t have been the same.